...IN WHICH Mojo attempts once more to bare her ugly soul to you, and not get distracted by Mary Worth.

So, um, where was I? Oh, yes, my crossroads. Every now and then Mojo likes to sit around and think things through. Well, every chance she gets, to be honest, although what Mojo calls "thinking" other, lesser-evolved creatures might describe as "sitting around playing solitaire card games on her computer, the lazy slug". Because for the most part, things have gone and continue to go just swell, thank you very much. But something has arisen, as things do on occasion, to shake up Mojo's insular little happy world and make her aware of the concerns of other beings. As in, I've heard other people go through this, and now I find myself in the same boat. And so I turn to YOU, kind, random internet stranger with no particular qualifications to actually counsel or advise, aside from your repeated assertions that you know what you are talking about. Hey, you had me at "I only say this because I have your best interests at heart". Mojo's SOLD!  MORE Mojo! »

Short answer is, if Mojo were a heart surgeon who operated out of her house (don't ask why, you troublemaker, just go along with it) and she was expecting a LIVE BEATING HEART to arrive via an overnight delivery service, she might as well give it up and go into the tombstone business instead. Because it just AIN'T gonna happen.  MORE Mojo! »

Sometime today or tomorrow I will be getting my little 3G card device. My Favorite Husband has had one for years, compliments of his work, but I kept holding off on the silly promise that someday I would be getting DSL. After being yanked around and laughed at by the customer "service" folks at Verizon for the last six months, I, Mojo, have finally given up. Mobile phone service is finally here--and has been for the past year or so--so I'm getting one of those wireless broadband phone thingies instead for sixty bucks a month.  MORE Mojo! »

As much as Mojo dearly loves to complain, the simple fact is, she leads a charmed life. So much so that every two years or so Verizon offers her a new phone. So Mojo succumbed to spiffy advertising and her pathetic desire to look cool and hip, and bought a brand new Chocolate. A blue one. I think they called it "Blue Mint" or some such car-color name. Who cares.

The point is, a few days before it came, I happened to see my Favorite Younger Sister and I remembered SHE had a Chocolate, too. So I asked to see it. Turns out she has the old, decrepit moldy Chocolate with the fake navigation wheel, whereas MY Chocolate is oh so much hipper and cooler. In fact, I dare say that MY new phone not only TOTALLY KICKS her pathetic phone's butt, but it also dances and stomps on the little bits of broken plastic that rain down after getting its butt kicked, and G-R-I-N-D-S them into the carpet.  MORE Mojo! »