IN WHICH Mojo Writes a Brief Letter to Her Younger Self

Dear Baby Mojo,

I hope you're enjoying your relatively idyllic, privileged and carefree childhood. You might be pleased to note that your adult version is likewise reasonably happy with how things turned out. Like that guy you'll meet when you're eighteen? The one where it was raining out and he looked like a drowned rat? Yeah, him. Turns out your stupid little moony infatuation was right: he's a really good guy, with the added bonus of getting even better as time goes on. More Mojo!>>



THERE, now! You SEE why Mojo reads her Mary Worth every day? Of course, I suppose it might not be so funny if you haven't been following the story this past month or so. A story, like so many of them lately, that has nothing whatsoever to do with Mary Worth, yet they plug her at the end so we remember who's the actual star of the comic strip. Besides, when one is in love, and finally reunited with one's object d'affection after years and YEARS and YEARS of separation, it is only right that one thinks of the elderly biddy who once talked to you in a diner while you brought her coffee.

It's like, Mojo has been married for over twenty years, okay? And unlike those unfortunates who get bored or angry or whatever, Mojo remains vibrantly and stupidly in luv with her Favorite Husband, at least thus far. And I can't help but suspect that one of the clues to this revolting sort of storybook happiness is, when I tell my Favorite Husband I love him, usually (usually, mind you!) I am not also privately thinking, "I love chocolate chip cookies, too!" Nor do I receive a thank-you hug from said Favorite Husband, only to turn to the camera behind his back, a la Television Commercial Wife, to whisper, "...and thank YOU, Aunt Jemima!" Because that behavior, to Mojo's Stodgy and Old-Fashioned Way of Thinking, indicates that your heart really isn't in The Moment, is it.

Not that there's anything wrong with chocolate chip cookies. I've forgotten where I'm going with this one. Have a good weekend, anyway!



More Mojo!>>

IN WHICH Mojo Goes on a Rant, and Comes Out the Other End None the Wiser.

So Mojo's Favorite Husband has been sick for about a week, and on Friday he finally went to the doctor's. He got antibiotics and spent the weekend on the couch watching movies and napping. Which meant Mojo spent much of the weekend watching movies and napping. And since Mojo is one of those kind, saintly, laid-back "whatever you wanna do is cool with me, dear" sort of wives, it was pretty much Husband's Choice for movies all weekend. Which is not always the greatest thing in the world. More Mojo!>>


So today is ITLP Day. Notice how cunning Mojo used initials to confound her enemies. Mostly because Mojo's enemies ain't too bright. And Mojo, as we all know, is lazy.

Anyway, I am somewhat disappointed waking up today because my Pirate Filter hasn't kicked in yet. Some of this MIGHT be because the server where this site sits is some free fowsand miles away from where Mojo sits drinking her coffee and chocolate morning treat while typing.

Last year I forgot I had the filter installed and had like a ten-second freakout trying to determine what was wrong with the site. More Mojo!>>

Guess What?

...Mojo's complaining again!

...about her new stove! know, the one she spent more on than if she were to buy EIGHT of her FIRST CARS back in college!

Yes, as much as we try to show Mojo that there are worse existences than hers, and there are people in this world who can't afford FOOD let alone a fancy-schmancy new wood stove insert, she remains utterly convinced that all the demons in hell are sent to torment her. So what else is new. More Mojo!>>

Mojo Deals With Stuff She Does Not Like.

Today is the dawning of Day Two of Mojo's giving up her morning treat of coffee and hot chocolate. It is going as well as can be hoped. I decided to cold turkey the caffeine--which I do periodically--because my neck spasms and migraines have been coming back for the past three or four months and I'm thinking it might be a trigger. Who knows. All I know is, I miss it. And instead of being dopey and stupid, I have been extra hyper. But then last night I slept for ten hours, once I got home from doing my taxes. More Mojo!>>

She's Trying To Not Get Too Excited....

For those who haven't yet figured it out, Mojo is a morning person. She usually wakes up without an alarm sometime between four and five, and lies there like a slugabed until her Favorite Husband's alarm goes off at five. And then she's NOT going to get in his way, oh, no, for she is THAT sort of devoted kind considerate person, so she lies about some more like a wallowing hog until she can't stands it no more, usually around five thirty or so, and then she gets up and makes her half coffee/half hot chocolate Morning Treat. More Mojo!>>

Just Go Away.

Okay, Mojo is ready to make her yearly announcement to all the furriners currently clogging the roads. And that announcement is: just go home. Mojo doesn't want you here. Mojo is sick and tired of encountering you on the road. Mojo does not like you popping by *HER* store where SHE gets coffee every morning and getting in her way or--heaven forbid--getting between her and the donut box. Especially if you are just going to STAND there and not get a donut. More Mojo!>>

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