Mojo Versus the Phone Companies

So Mojo has sadly resigned herself to the fact that the Evil V will never, ever EVER give her DSL internet.

Mojo is okay with reality. She doesn't spend too much time moping or wishing things were different or droning endless affirmations reflecting how she would like her life to be under the delusion that doing so will somehow change things. She is happy enough with her MiFi, and for any HUGE uploads she goes visiting other people under the pretense that she likes them, when really she just wants to jump on their wireless to upload another pointless YouTube video. It's what she calls a "social life".

But after hearing a happy tale from a luckier person (who we suspect is just throwing her extreme internet happiness in Mojo's face, but once again whatcha gonna do), she thought she'd see if Evil V's competitor, AT&T, might be willing to supply home phone and internet. So she goes to AT&T's site and plugs in her address to see if any form of high speed internet is available in her area. More Mojo!>>



THERE, now! You SEE why Mojo reads her Mary Worth every day? Of course, I suppose it might not be so funny if you haven't been following the story this past month or so. A story, like so many of them lately, that has nothing whatsoever to do with Mary Worth, yet they plug her at the end so we remember who's the actual star of the comic strip. Besides, when one is in love, and finally reunited with one's object d'affection after years and YEARS and YEARS of separation, it is only right that one thinks of the elderly biddy who once talked to you in a diner while you brought her coffee.

It's like, Mojo has been married for over twenty years, okay? And unlike those unfortunates who get bored or angry or whatever, Mojo remains vibrantly and stupidly in luv with her Favorite Husband, at least thus far. And I can't help but suspect that one of the clues to this revolting sort of storybook happiness is, when I tell my Favorite Husband I love him, usually (usually, mind you!) I am not also privately thinking, "I love chocolate chip cookies, too!" Nor do I receive a thank-you hug from said Favorite Husband, only to turn to the camera behind his back, a la Television Commercial Wife, to whisper, "...and thank YOU, Aunt Jemima!" Because that behavior, to Mojo's Stodgy and Old-Fashioned Way of Thinking, indicates that your heart really isn't in The Moment, is it.

Not that there's anything wrong with chocolate chip cookies. I've forgotten where I'm going with this one. Have a good weekend, anyway!



More Mojo!>>

Happy Anniversary, Part the First--

Just a brief note to point out that today marks the sixth anniversary of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts' decision to allow same-sex couples to wed. Which has always made the happily-married Mojo that little bit extra happy, thinking that ALL of her friends who choose to can share in the happiness she enjoys. (Above and beyond all the legal and human rights and treating-everyone-equally ramifications, don'tcha know.)

Some of this uncharacteristic soppiness probably comes from not enough sleep after celebrating my Favorite Parents' recent renewal of their own wedding vows, which took place nearly 52 years ago come June 8. But Mojo feels the need to remind ALL of her friends--gay, straight, transgendered, whatever--that you are indeed loved. Okay, so maybe it's just Mojo love, which--let's face it--won't even get you a cuppa coffee out there in the cruel, cold world. But at least you have ONE grumpy, muttering, wild-eyed person in your corner. Besides, you can always pretend you don't know me. I understand.

Mojo More Mojo!>>

Mojo LIES To You Yet Another Time!!!!

"Why, Mojo? WHY?" You sob. To which Mojo replies, ya know, I can't be held responsible for your happiness every second of every day. Why don't you take up a hobby, instead of relying on Mojo for your daily combination of Joy and Enlightenment?

If you are at all paying attention, you will notice there is no Craptacular item up for bids. Why? Because things aren't done, and Mojo wishes them to be done before she launches Mojo's Exciting Year of Crap. It's that simple.

And why aren't things done? Take your pick:

1. Mojo is lazy, as usual. More Mojo!>>

Happiness is a Warm Puppy....

...especially the BABY BORDER COLLIE the Sheep Expert at the Lieberry recently got. He comes to the library nearly all the time, and he is just adorable....

Happiness, on the other hand, is NOT being tailgated at 75 miles an hour by some late-teens early-twenties bimbo driving what is probably Daddy's car with a cigarette in one hand and a cell phone in the other. Literally, if I were standing on my bumper I could have stepped over to her hood. At 75 miles an hour. With both hands full of nasty habits, leaving none to actually steer. Where's Darwin when ya need him? More Mojo!>>

Mojo Starts Her Day....

Mojo somehow believes that what she thinks of as "the lesser people" will be utterly fascinated by her--Mojo's--morning routine. I don't know why. Just humor her by nodding and smiling and she will soon go back to her standard whininess. More Mojo!>>


A friend of mine doesn't like "bad" things in movies. No one getting shot, no violence at all, nothing scary. So it's really hard to recommend good movies to her because sometimes good movies have those things, too. It's called "conflict" and, for better or worse, most of humankind's art appears to be based on it. People are more interested in fighting than in "happily ever after". Celebrity gossip--people are more interested when they screw up and destroy their lives than those who just go to work and then go home to a happy family. Divorce is more newsworthy than boring happiness. More Mojo!>>


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