Passed Crap

...with Special BONUS DUST!!!

So Mojo was chatting with someone in private, who had asked Mojo's opinion regarding the purpose of a particular Craptacular item. (Pffft! Like Mojo knows! She's lucky she can tie her shoes in the morning, let alone divine the thought processes, if any, behind a total stranger posessing unknown intellectual and/or psychological abilities. But I digress.) Mojo opined her opinion that the item was probably just an odd little dustcatcher, and then riffed a bit on how, for all she knew, there might be people out there in eBay world who might actually collect samples of dust from different parts of the world. Sure, you may scoff at the notion, and Mojo would have scoffed right along with you and clapped you on the back and shared a special moment of private superiority with you. But that was before eBay opened up Mojo's eyes to the big wide world of weirdness that is out there. For despite her worldly ways, shrill voice and obnoxious personality, Mojo is a relatively frail and sheltered girl, from an earlier time, and it wasn't until she started lurking around the Usenet newsgroups in the Eighties that she became fully aware of all the nutjobs--oh, sorry, scratch that, I mean, the refreshing diversity of opinions and tastes that make up the human race.

Mojo's recent trend of a more intense feeling of "Why, Mojo? *sniff* WHY? Why did you hang onto this thing for so long?" continues with this little puppy. Mojo suspects this item will either TOTALLY make someone's day, or will be feeding the wood stove this winter. I suspect the latter, but leave it to eBay to surprise me.

What is it? At first I thought it was standard pinfeed fanfold computer paper. Then I noticed (ain't she a smart one!) it was not the right size for your standard 8.5 X 11 sheet. And upon closer inspection I noticed the perforations all over it. TONS of perforations.

Hold on to your teeth, kiddies! I know, I know, Mojo calls a lot of things "crap" when really there's nothing wrong with them. While she herself does not want them and/or does not find them useful and/or decorative and/or whatever, that does not mean that other people may find those very same objects to be their Holy Grail, their DaVinci Code, their....ah, Mojo is tired of trying to come up with any more popular culture references. You know.

Leave it to Mojo to keep things long after they might be useful. Not only does it needlessly clutter her house, but it prevents others from maybe using them. And yet she so very selfishly hangs onto things even though she has no use for them. Why? If Mojo knew the answer to that there would be no need for the Craptacular, huh? Her life would be ordered and neat and there would never be any of this extraneous crap to get rid of.

Long, long ago Mojo had one of those printers that printed directly onto CDs. And sometimes she would run off hundreds of CDs at a stretch, printing and printing and printing. It is not as glamorous as I make it sound. Pretty tedious, in fact.

Mojo's Metal-Mania continues unabated with this latest Craptacular offering! And at least this item has the potential to be somewhat useful around the house, unlike certain hedgehogs or presidential portraiture. Usefulness holds a certain appeal to Mojo, who has thus far gone through life being as useless as humanly possible. Maybe it is her pseudo-Yankee upbringing, or her engineer father, or her engineer husband, or just somewhere in the twisted recesses of her mind--whatever the excuse, Mojo likes things that do something instead of just sit there and look purty.

When I say "Hedgehog", what do you think? If you are like most people, you think, "Why did Mojo just say 'hedgehog' out of the blue? What is the meaning of this apparent nonsequitur? Has Mojo finally lost it? Even more so than usual? Am I in personal danger? Should I maybe take a casual step back away from her, but act so cool she won't know I'm doing it? Did I defrost the chicken we were planning on having tonight? I know, I will use the chicken as an excuse to get away from this social leech. Nobody can argue when chicken needs defrosting. What, she wants my whole family to come down with food poisoning because the chicken wasn't cooked thoroughly? I don't think so, Mojo!"