Passed Crap

Robots Widescreen DVD

Submitted by mojo on

This one is totally my fault. I blame myself. I have family members involved in the animation industry, so I have a pretty good collection of animated movies. Including the recent trend of CGI movies, which up until now have all been fairly enjoyable. Of course that trend couldn't possibly continue, so here we have it: the very first CGI movie I could barely sit through. It was bound to happen, so that in and of itself is no cause for alarm.

ThoughtStream Personal Biofeedback Training System!

Submitted by mojo on

"The latest advancement in genuine psychological stress reduction." That's what they say on the box. I'm starting to suspect, though, that it only really works if you bother to take it out of the box and hook it up. But let's be honest. Am I really going to sit down and use this? You should know me by now, people! I have no patience for—well, patience. Taking these pictures is the first time it's been out of the box. One of those things you'd like to take on, but everything's so busy and stressful you find you just don't have the time. Maybe you do, and you've been shopping around for one of these puppies. Boy are you in luck today!

The Creosote Sweeping Log is Back!

Submitted by mojo on

The CREOSOTE Sweeping Log!

( Oh, and another log, Just Because Mojo Loves You!)

It's back! And better than ever!

Fans of the Craptacular may remember those halcyon days of yore when I single-handedly mesmerized at least a dozen people talking about the "Chimney Sweeping Log" I received as a gift. Really smart readers (and you and I both know you're one of them, and not the typical schmoe reading this stuff at work instead of actually doing their JOB, God forbid)--wait, I lost what I was saying--really smart readers appreciated the multiple subtexts of my essay on the CSL and the centuries-old Log Tradition of the holiday season.Others appreciated the more slapstick aspects of me (in that same ad, if you can believe it!) describing how I severely hurt myself and learned a Valuable Life Lesson on how important it is to keep one's first aid supplies in one place instead of scattered willy-nilly about the house.

It's BACK! The Schick Intuition Razor Free Sample

Submitted by mojo on

Last year's picture of the Shick Intuition Razor.

Fans of last year's Holiday Craptacular—all three of you—may remember this. I put up twelve items last year, and all but one were sold. This was the sole reject. Why, I don't know, since at least it might prove itself useful, unlike much of the other stuff I palmed off on the good people of Ebay. But sadly, no one wanted it.

Mojo's box of Massage Doohickeys!

Submitted by mojo on

Like most people, I occasionally experience stress. Unlike some people, I can be vocal about it, especially if I can be especially witty or dramatic in my complaining. Unfortunately my inlaws have interpreted this dramatic flair as me suffering severely from stress, and it eats them up inside. They want to help me, but they don't know how.

Since they grew up during the Depression, they come from the thinly-veiled standpoint that anyone experiencing stress doesn't REALLY know what it's like to suffer and it's a personal moral failing if they don't shut up and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and all that other macho Thirties stuff. They mean well. They just don't understand that I'm just venting or joking when I'm being snarky. It's been over twenty years now and they still don't get it, so I have given up.

Soccer-Themed Fleece Blanket

Submitted by mojo on

How can I say this? I will just say it. My husband HATES organized sports, of all kinds. I mean, really, really hates them. Hate with a capital "H". Hates, hates, hates. He don't like them, 'kay? While no great lover of sports myself, I don't out and out HATE them quite as much as he does. In fact, with both of my parents as Penn State grads, I used to have a mild interest in American football. No more.

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