stares

Mojo Versus the Phone Companies

So Mojo has sadly resigned herself to the fact that the Evil V will never, ever EVER give her DSL internet.

Mojo is okay with reality. She doesn't spend too much time moping or wishing things were different or droning endless affirmations reflecting how she would like her life to be under the delusion that doing so will somehow change things. She is happy enough with her MiFi, and for any HUGE uploads she goes visiting other people under the pretense that she likes them, when really she just wants to jump on their wireless to upload another pointless YouTube video. It's what she calls a "social life".

But after hearing a happy tale from a luckier person (who we suspect is just throwing her extreme internet happiness in Mojo's face, but once again whatcha gonna do), she thought she'd see if Evil V's competitor, AT&T, might be willing to supply home phone and internet. So she goes to AT&T's site and plugs in her address to see if any form of high speed internet is available in her area. More Mojo!>>

Mojo, Queen of Dextromethorphan

So our poor beloved Mojo spent most of the holiday season in the hospital, visiting a loved one and just sort of hanging out reading books while they fought a desperate struggle for their life. Which was rather inconvenient for Mojo, I must say. All of the stress of the holiday season, and pretty much none of the joy. Say La Vee.

Things are going better now, thanks for asking. Enough that said loved one was finally discharged, and Mojo found herself, instead of sitting in the hospital reading a VERY INTERESTING BOOK her Favorite Older Sister brought over, buying loads of prescription drugs at the pharmacy as well as a laundry list of OTC medications. Which brings us to Mojo in the aisle for various cold remedies, perusing the bewildering varieties thereof. And all of this drama and intrigue, and Mojo is standing there in the pharmacy aisle, thinking not so much about life and death, nor narrow escapes, nor the inexplicable love one might feel for loved ones, but instead she stares at the various boxes and remembers a television commercial from her childhood.

Now, you kids won't remember any of this, but when elderly, barely continent Mojo was a wee lass there was no internet. We used to have to lick our postage stamps, too, a practice I no longer encourage. Marketing and advertising lacked the sophistication we now enjoy. Instead, product manufacturerererers had thirty seconds to craft these exquisite little mini-dramas that were just sort of accepted wholecloth, and only now, looking back on them, do they look rather silly. More Mojo!>>

Mojo the Savior

So I'm driving along a back road I frequent (the one where some unfortunate resident has decided to publicly declare war on squirrels and has wrapped all his trees with giant sheets of corrugated tin)(and don't tell him but I'm pretty sure the squirrels are winning) when I noticed one of the horses was loose and wandering around the road near a barn and field where there are a good many horses in the field. So I stop the car.

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On Why One Should Not Tease Someone on Morphine.

As I have reported earlier, a family member has been in various hospitals lately and Mojo has been dutifully visiting when she gets the chance.

When they were in the first hospital they were on one of those self-administered morphine drips, but they seemed lucid enough. So while other family members left them alone to check out the food in the commissary Mojo made the mistake of falling back on her usual tactic of teasing her friends until they cry. Because that is what you should expect should you have the misfortune of gaining the trust and friendship of Mojo.

Unfortunately for Mojo (to say nothing of the person lying helpless in the hospital bed, but c'mon, they can get their own blog, can't they?) morphine tends to confuse the brain, so instead of taking the teasing in a normal fashion the patient stared at her like she had just said the most horrible thing imaginable. So Mojo, promptly realizing her mistake, backpedals like mad but there is no going back, and the poor patient just stares at her until the rest of the family returns and relieves her of her entertainment duties. More Mojo!>>

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