So today is my Favorite Father's birthday. I would wish him a happy birthday, except right now he and my favorite Mother are wending their way down somewhere to Florida for a couple of weeks--down to Sanibel or something. I think that's what they said. We met them for breakfast yesterday, and I think they said they were driving down to Sanibel, but to be honest there was food on the table so Mojo was distracted and might not have listened as closely as she could. What's a girl to do, listen to her parents, or eat bacon and French toast? Pfft.  MORE Mojo! »

I don't know why I've been thinking about this lately. Maybe because school's in session, and the other day as I was driving aimlessly around some kids were waiting for the school bus. It was the first day of school and their mother was obnoxiously taking pictures of them, posing with their dogs. Mojo can relate to their misery, but at least MY Favorite Mother had the humanity to take OUR pictures in the BACK yard, instead of right out there for passing bloggers to later mock. This poor kid had two cocker spaniels on leashes, and he, under the stage direction of his harried mother, was trying to get the dogs to sit for the camera.

Which reminded me.

Cocker spaniels are beautiful animals. It's no wonder Disney chose them for the Lady part of Lady and the Tramp. Very silky-looking. My golden retriever, Rosie, has that same silkiness around her head and ears. You imagine you could spend the rest of your life just petting them. I don't particularly advocate drug use, but one of those more recent trendy club drugs--maybe it's ecstasy? Mojo doesn't know her club drugs all that well; imagine that--apparently totally turns you on to tactile stimulation and (at least so the cliché goes) gets people all into just touching things. I think if you dropped some of that crap and then petted my dog you'd go insane or something. And ditto, I imagine, if you were to pet a cocker spaniel.

Except, to be honest, I have never once in my life ever petted a cocker spaniel. I came close, once. And this is the story of why it didn't happen.  MORE Mojo! »

So Mojo is one of those poor misinformed people who has never had the opportunity to see certain movie classics. Like Taxi Driver. Sure, I've seen enough clips and parodies you'd SWEAR I've seen it all the way through, but I haven't. (Ditto The Godfather until I was somewhere in my thirties.)

No, this isn't about seeing Taxi Driver, although that's on my to-do list. This is about another movie I've heard so much about most of my life, and I finally got the chance to see it. Midnight Express, the Turkish prison "horror" movie that pretty much everyone my age saw when it first came out and were traumatized for life by it, and then didn't have to have things Explained To Them when scenes were parodied in other movies or TV shows.

Anyway, after twenty years or so of people TALKING INCESSANTLY about it, I finally saw it this weekend.  MORE Mojo! »

So yesterday I was thinking about the regional term "Statie", and I compared it to something we always said as teens in the 70s, using the word "wicked" in place of "very" to add emphasis to an adjective ("Aw, man, that movie was WICKED cool!"--which, sadly, is the mentality you are dealing with when you choose to converse with someone of Mojo's storied intellectual prowess). It is a sad indicator of Mojo's general ignorance when I admit I only realized "wicked" as a substitute for "very" was regional when I heard the guys laughing about it about it in the director's commentary for the DVD of Finding Nemo. Which is where I learn all sorts of interesting things that crowd out more important information.  MORE Mojo! »

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Please oh pleasie please please, don't ever, EVER ask Mojo again the question, "Would you like to hear this poem someone sent me?"  MORE Mojo! »

It's the weekend, it's been a long, busy week, and Mojo is tired. My delightful essay on sweeping the chimney will have to wait until Monday. All I will do today is go on the record--although I believe all right-thinking people are behind me so I am preaching to the choir--and say that every single "Axe for Men" commercial I have ever seen is the most repulsive thing on television since the latest FOX reality show. And, again like FOX, every time I see a new one I think, well, gosh, they can't POSSIBLY get more repulsive with this product, can they?

Well, surprise! Yes, they can. Not only with their useless, pathetic product but now they seem to want to turn Mojo off of chocolate for life. Forget all the old products, which apparently turned men into babe magnets who didn't have to bathe on a regular basis. (I mean, really, how gross is THAT?) Their newest product, which apparently turns men into GIANT CHOCOLATE PEOPLE complete with scary chocolate rabbit STARING CANDY EYES, is just plain DISTURBING as well as repulsive.

Okay, Mojo realizes young men can be stupid when them-there hormones start swirling about. But I maintain there is a special echelon of stupidity reserved for anyone who would ever buy this product or think the commercial is somehow a good idea. I thought the guy not showering and just spraying himself with Axe Stink and then peeling the scum off of his body was bad enough. But chocolate Easter Bunny Boy losing pieces of his anatomy as he walks down the street is so utterly repulsive on so many levels Mojo can't believe it made it past storyboards.

Mojo is so turned off by the whole entire Axe campaign she suspects she must be missing something and they are in fact ironically self-aware parodies of themselves. If that's the case they're not doing a very good job of it. Ditto that TAG crap. (What, young males can't figure out names with more than three letters?)

Although I'm not a HUGE fan of Family Guy they DO have the occasional good line now and then, and I DID mildly enjoy their little cutaway of "TAG for Sick Cats". Note I DON'T say I believe it to be Comedy Genius, but it about says everything I would say regarding male body sprays attracting women. Don't click on the movie if you don't want to watch a cartoon cat throw up. Seriously.

I leave you with that for the weekend... that, and the final TAGline, "This spray is not for me."

Mojo

No, it's not an obnoxious morning shock-jock, but rather the first thing I look for upon getting up. I glance out the bathroom window and hope to see Mrs. Yellowthroat still on her nest. I tried to get a good picture of my view, but the camera would not cooperate. Just as well, for I would have to doctor the picture with arrows to point out the bird butt from the sticks and leaves and day lilies. She really blends in awfully well.

Thus far she is still brooding away, and I expect will keep up this dull lifestyle until the wee ones hatch. Of course there is always the dramatic possibility I will wake up and find a broken nest instead of Bird Butt, should some fox or coyote or fisher happen along. There's really not much I can do about that out here. I don't get too close or point it out when the dog or cat is around, and I can only hope all the human stink will keep the wilder predators away, but whatever happens will happen. Say La Vee. For now, all is well, and Bird Butt remains, her little tail sticking straight up like a wren's against the wall of the nest.

Mojo has plenty more time to worry about her little birdy friend because, once again, she finds herself temporarily unemployed.  MORE Mojo! »

So, what else did Mojo and her Favorite Husband do this last weekend besides play with their new stove? They ended up watching Woodstock: The Director's Cut over the course of two days. Mojo brought it home figuring her Favorite Husband would not be interested in a bunch of muddy hippies, but as usual Mojo totally underestimates his ability to tolerate her whimsy, which is Mojo's way of saying she's a pain in the butt.  MORE Mojo! »

We've been keeping occupied on the movie front. Last one we saw in the theaters was There Will Be Blood with Daniel Day Lewis. We went mostly for Lewis. My Favorite Husband has a thing for the otherwise not-so-good movie Gangs of New York just because he likes to watch DDL. Ditto this movie. You hear all the stories of how difficult it is working with DDL, because he takes Method acting to a whole new level of obsession. But the results thus far are on the screen, as he can singlehandedly carry an "eh" movie all by himself.  MORE Mojo! »