Mojo's Media

Another Penguin

Robin PenguinSo once again a bored Mojo attempts to create meaning for her life by taking pictures of penguins and dressing them up in other bird's plumage. For the record, we don't ask why, anymore. We just smile and nod, grateful that she has decided to focus her genius on something relatively harmless, like this, instead of idly whipping up the passions of an unthinking mob for her amusement, or some other equally destructive hobby.

Even if you don't know your birds--Mojo does not understand why people don't know or care about birds, but like I said, just keep smiling and nodding--even the extreme dullards among you should get this one (well, really, ALL of them thus far. I mean, it's not like I'm quizzing you on sparrows or warblers or anything like that). Hint: it's a member of the thrush family. Hint: it has almost NOTHING AT ALL to do with its European namesake, except they both have red breasteses and they're both birds. Hint: its Latin name will make the immature among you giggle like an idiot. Hint: it makes a silly cameo in one of Mojo's favoritest movies of all time--silly because this is an AMERICAN bird and not its European namesake.

Give up? Boy, are you dense and/or completely oblivious to your surroundings and/or not American, you commie bastard you. More Mojo!>>

Mojo the Bird Nerd, Redux

Blue Jay Penguin

We have long established that poor Mojo, in addition to her many other social faults, is also a bird nerd of lllloooooonnnnnng standing. One needs only to search the site for the word "birds" and you will instantly be transported into a magical realm of, umm, birds. Even Mojo's occasional brushes with greatness tend to dwell not so much on said greatness's many contributions to society, but on freakin' BIRDS.

Mojo also subscribes to Boing Boing's Twitter feed. Boing Boing, of course, is a directory of wonderful things, and whenever Mojo wants to look pathetically hip or cool she might share a link she finds on Boing Boing. And if she is feeling particularly generous, she will give Boing Boing full credit instead of taking the link from the original source and pretending like she is cool enough to read said original source on a regular basis. Because we all know by now, in addition to her bird nerdliness, Mojo is in reality an old clueless fuddy-duddy who relies greatly on Google and a hipper Younger Sister to Explain Things to Her. (And finds, as she gets older and even more of a stick-in-the-mud, that many of these things, once explained to her, she wishes she never once ever heard about. But I digress.)

So perhaps the more imaginative among you can guess at Mojo's glee when she saw the BB headline in her Twitter feed: "Penguins: Now with more color". (A great many people who are NOT bird nerds nonetheless like penguins, probably because they march around like serious little people in tuxedos, which makes non-bird people giggle and say stupid things like "Oh, look! They think they're people!") I was a hair disappointed to learn that the added color to the penguins was not some exotically-plumaged new variety, but merely the result of thermal imaging. Which is important and interesting in its own light, but not what I expected when I clicked on the link. (Some of this convoluted thought process was no doubt because I was trapped with the dog in a hotel room at the time, and since I don't really watch cable all that much I was bored out of my skull. But again, I digress.) More Mojo!>>

She Turned Me Into a Newt....

Okay, okay, all right already! Enough people have asked--thanks to Mojo's AWESOME POWERS OF PHOTOGRAPHY--so Mojo feels obligated to offer her wee little red eft friend up for ritual sacrifice. Meaning, she's gonna exploit the HELL out of the wee innocent beastie. Meaning, she's throwing it up on a t-shirt for you people to buy, so you'll leave me alone.

You're welcome.

More Mojo!>>

Moar Stoopid Burds

empty nestSo Mojo's been busy with Real Life stuff, so she hasn't been posting. She's also thinking of a major site upgrade, which will take up some of her precious online time. If she does it well you will not notice much change, just New Stuff Added. More Mojo!>>

Mojo's Yellowthroat Diaries

Due to circumstances beyond even Mojo's control, she's been too busy with her own sordid affairs to bother entertaining the likes of you. Nevertheless she feels a certain obligation to say SOMETHING of import and interest once in a while. So instead of writing, I shall make you go squee with a daily sequence of pictures of the yellowthroat nest, which is once again camped by my front door. Watch in awe and wonder as tiny leetle birds the size of your thumb joint turn into giant monsters.

  More Mojo!>>

Mojo's Life Is Indeed a Living Hell.

So first off, yesterday I was jogging up and down my Favorite Older Sister's driveway in a futile attempt to be healthy and in shape, when Rosie and I were VICIOUSLY ATTACKED BY WILD BEASTS. I realize there are those of you out there who might doubt Mojo's Sacred Word, which is why I am glad there are CELL PHONES so that I might record the encounter for posterity. Watch, if you dare:

 

(Oh, and if you are a Kind Person, don't play this with the sound on when Rosie's around. She gets very upset and thinks I am yelling at her. I WAS, but not NOW. And only "yelling" in the "*sigh*; Mojo's Irish" sense of the word, which isn't really YELLING, but more like Gently Communicating With Volume.)

More Mojo!>>

IN WHICH Mojo Solves the Whole Facebook Mess, and Treats the World to Her Very First Infographic!

Mojo should probably state up front that she has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PERSONAL against Martha Stewart. Quite the opposite; a bootstrappin' gal like Martha is an inspiration to all capitalistic womankind. My only issue with Martha is that Mojo is not really a girlie-girl, and consequently has NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in decorating the house. This is painfully evident to anyone who might happen to drop by the shanty-esque hovel where Mojo spends her days glowering out the cobwebby windows like some uglier, more psychotic and far less talented version of Emily Dickinson. (Think "Miss Havisham", without the charm.)

Now, if Mojo actually WATCHED television beyond cartoons, and if Martha were to forego decorating and place settings and deal exclusively with cooking (Mojo likes food) or gardening (Mojo likes plants) or petting various creatures (Mojo likes 'em all, except for ticks and mosquitos), then we could talk. But once the talk moves to fabrics Mojo's eyes glaze over. She'll try to be polite, because that's how she was raised, but There You Have It.

(Actually, Mojo is MOST INTERESTED right now in LAWN TRACTORS, if you must know. Our push mower has been in the shop for a MONTH now. With all the rain, the lawn is literally KNEE DEEP. Recent developments I shall not go into right now indicate the Favorite Husband will NOT be using the push mower this summer should it ever come home. Consequently there are times, in the dark hours, where our usually upbeat and optimistic Mojo quietly despairs at the notion of the lawn ever being mowed again. During these times of darkness, the usual skinflinty Mojo starts daydreaming about how nice it would be to have a riding lawn tractor with a mowing deck. Just ABANDON the push mower at the shop, and SPEND the money already! Other girls dream of jewelry; Mojo secretly pines for a tractor, yet will not buy one for herself until she has studied the market and determined the very best one she should get for her needs. It's a very long and involved process, because, well, Mojo is Mojo. But I digress.)

Anyway, this whole week has been just AGOG with all the news about the Facebook IPO and the various complaints thereof. I have been particularly inspired at the huffy, gaspy revelations that maybe, perhaps, there might have been selective disclosures in the process. Perhaps this is because the Facebook IPO attracted a lot of new people to the stock market--idealistic folks who have somehow convinced themselves that an overhyped IPO for a business that (Mojo suspects) is gonna be the next MySpace will somehow magically make them rich overnight. And when that DIDN'T happen, there's all these cries of anguish and allegations of wrongdoing all over the place. Which may or may not be true. Mojo doesn't know, and Mojo desn't particularly care. More Mojo!>>

This Just In From the "Just When You Think It's Over" Department:

So a little more than a month ago, your esteemed pal Mojo, fresh from her bruising fight with Zazzle over Summit Entertainment claiming Mojo was somehow infringing on their "TWILIGHT" franchise by having the temerity to put up a lion-and-lamb Christmas card for sale, decided to relax with fambly by going to the Magic Wings butterfly conservatory to cavort with our six-legged friends. (And other-leggeds, since they have things like frogs and lizards and button quail, as well.)

Mojo was still experimenting with her new iPhone, so she took lots and lots of video footage at the butterfly place, which she cut together in a video she threw up on YouTube entitled "Dances With Bugs":

 

Since it was over five minutes long and, let's face it, Mojo is a money-grubbing hack, Mojo signed it up for YouTube's ad-serving, revenue-sharing dealie. Because Mojo is one of them special YouTube partners who can do that, don'tcha know. Funny thing was, unlike just about every other video Mojo put up for monetization, this one did not go through. It stayed in review-process limbo. So, like many a YouTube partner, Mojo did what you're supposed to do: she disabled monetization and then re-submitted it. She did this a couple of times and never got it to budge. And then came this email: More Mojo!>>

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