Oh, my. Eleanor Abernathy is SO OBSCURE you just KNOW you're gonna have to Google her. Unless you're one of the WAY COOL people who already know who she is, but let's face it: if you're THAT cool you're probably not reading the Craptacular.
Granted, Mojo complains about so many petty things it is easy to just kinda tune her out and ignore her many LEGITIMATE and HEART-RENDING ISSUES. Take the new kitten, for example. How could Mojo EVER complain about the CUTEST KITTEN EVAR? I mean, he's sitting here LEANING AGAINST MY ARM as I type! Don't "Awwww" too loud or you'll wake him up!
...and this time, I've SUBTITLED IT with closed captions, so even if you have the sound turned off it still has the potential to annoy you! (You might have to watch it on YouTube to enable the captions? I don't know how all this technology works...)
Mojo demands you enjoy this! So... enjoy!
For the record, I am neither a particular fan (I pretty much had stopped listening to the radio by the time he made it big) nor a rabid hater. I thought Michael Bolton's version of When a Man Loves a Woman to be okay enough, but rather a copy of all previous versions. I didn't see anything all ground-breaking or awe-inspiring about it, so I didn't see what all the fuss was about. And that's about all I've heard of his music.
No, not really. I'm just practicing for that inevitable time when I might accidentally post something so egregious, so utterly offensive, that all right-thinking people, if not mortally offended, will at least have the passing thought, "Geez Mojo, what WERE you thinking?"
I believe this is how the sequence works (Mind you, I use "works" in as loose a way as you can possibly imagine):
1. Post said nasty, awful, offensive thought, joke, or nude selfie only meant for an ardent admirer (even better if they're underaged). Because let's face it, that's how Mojo rolls in the first place. (Or at least WOULD if her dang MOTHER wasn't reading this blog all the time. But I digress.)
2. Be utterly shocked when one-a them sensitive, whiny, trouble-making types somehow takes offense to your obvious genius. (Incidentally, if anyone ever criticizes you online for anything, they are CLEARLY JEALOUS. But again, I digress.)
3. Try to DEFEND said nasty, nasty thing with increasingly shrill vociferousness.
4. Somehow fail miserably, despite your shrill tone and unpleasant behavior.