poor mojo

Mojo the Bird Nerd, Redux

Blue Jay Penguin

We have long established that poor Mojo, in addition to her many other social faults, is also a bird nerd of lllloooooonnnnnng standing. One needs only to search the site for the word "birds" and you will instantly be transported into a magical realm of, umm, birds. Even Mojo's occasional brushes with greatness tend to dwell not so much on said greatness's many contributions to society, but on freakin' BIRDS.

Mojo also subscribes to Boing Boing's Twitter feed. Boing Boing, of course, is a directory of wonderful things, and whenever Mojo wants to look pathetically hip or cool she might share a link she finds on Boing Boing. And if she is feeling particularly generous, she will give Boing Boing full credit instead of taking the link from the original source and pretending like she is cool enough to read said original source on a regular basis. Because we all know by now, in addition to her bird nerdliness, Mojo is in reality an old clueless fuddy-duddy who relies greatly on Google and a hipper Younger Sister to Explain Things to Her. (And finds, as she gets older and even more of a stick-in-the-mud, that many of these things, once explained to her, she wishes she never once ever heard about. But I digress.)

So perhaps the more imaginative among you can guess at Mojo's glee when she saw the BB headline in her Twitter feed: "Penguins: Now with more color". (A great many people who are NOT bird nerds nonetheless like penguins, probably because they march around like serious little people in tuxedos, which makes non-bird people giggle and say stupid things like "Oh, look! They think they're people!") I was a hair disappointed to learn that the added color to the penguins was not some exotically-plumaged new variety, but merely the result of thermal imaging. Which is important and interesting in its own light, but not what I expected when I clicked on the link. (Some of this convoluted thought process was no doubt because I was trapped with the dog in a hotel room at the time, and since I don't really watch cable all that much I was bored out of my skull. But again, I digress.) More Mojo!>>

Mojo Versus the Phone Companies

So Mojo has sadly resigned herself to the fact that the Evil V will never, ever EVER give her DSL internet.

Mojo is okay with reality. She doesn't spend too much time moping or wishing things were different or droning endless affirmations reflecting how she would like her life to be under the delusion that doing so will somehow change things. She is happy enough with her MiFi, and for any HUGE uploads she goes visiting other people under the pretense that she likes them, when really she just wants to jump on their wireless to upload another pointless YouTube video. It's what she calls a "social life".

But after hearing a happy tale from a luckier person (who we suspect is just throwing her extreme internet happiness in Mojo's face, but once again whatcha gonna do), she thought she'd see if Evil V's competitor, AT&T, might be willing to supply home phone and internet. So she goes to AT&T's site and plugs in her address to see if any form of high speed internet is available in her area. More Mojo!>>

Mojo Likes the Fall.

And who doesn't? Besides crazy insane stupid people, that is. Fall is the BEST time of year. The days are still warm, but the frosts at night kill off all the mosquitos. Who are, of course, the very BANE of poor Mojo's sorry existence. The colors are very nice, at least here in New England, though (sorry, tourists!) recent wind and rain storms have pretty much destroyed the foliage this year. (They won't tell you that on the news, but we went for a drive this weekend and eh, I've seen better years.) More Mojo!>>

What This Blog Is About.

Have you ever wondered? Gosh, I sure have. Because this blog is all part of a well-oiled PLAN. An evil SCHEME, if you will. Which I have been trying so very hard to hide from the American people. Only the other day I happened to stumble over one of those "all blogs, all the time" sort of sites that keep statistical data on just about everything with an RSS feed. And they had a list of top tags that tell the casual passerby exactly what this blog is about. More Mojo!>>

Mojo's Ten-Dollar Miracle Pants!

So yesterday I am sort of perusing the ol' finances, given the very recent announcement that my Favorite Husband's work is cutting his check yet again, resulting in what amounts to a combined 25% pay cut, which is not catastrophic yet but it DOES gives one pause, especially when one rather likes sushi. And thinking to oneself, okay, so if we don't cut back and continue enjoying our present lifestyle we have about a year or so before things seriously catch up to you. More Mojo!>>

Better Than Any Alarm Clock....

So I had the pleasure of my Seven-Year-Old Friend's company this weekend. We ended up going to Howe Caverns, which my Favorite Husband and I went to a while back--maybe a year ago? Anyway, when we first took our SYO Friend "caving" we were both intrigued when going to Howe Cavern the sundry and amusing kitschy signs for a smaller Secret Caverns, so we took our (then) Five-or-Six-Year-Old friend there. More Mojo!>>

Mojo Survives....

Yes, Mojo has survived the bacchanal that was her SIX Year Old Friend's birthday party. Things have changed substantially since Mojo was a wee lass. Mojo does not recall ever being the subject of an actual party for starters; perhaps because she was always greedy enough to demand lemon-flavored cake, something that no one else in the family could stand. And she always had lemon cake because she was thereby assured she would be eating the majority of the cake all by herself. And to Mojo, eating cake was more important than maintaining friendships. More Mojo!>>

Mojo's Dilemma...

So poor Mojo still has this giant section of lawn she has to mow. She has been doing it in shifts so it does not overwhelm her at once, but instead sucks the life out of her little by little. The part of the lawn that is still not mowed--maybe an acre--is about knee-high now. So you will appreciate how it will take a while, since Mojo only has a regular push-in-front-of-her mower and not a really nice rider mower or lawn tractor.

And the other morning Mojo was surveying what she still had to mow, and to her distress found that her little miniature hayfield was now the home to countless baby black-and-yellow argiopes, which is a type of orb-web-building spider. A very COOL orb-web-building spider. Right now they are little babies, only an inch or so long. But give them a month or two, and you will see some absolutely SPECTACULAR giant spiders. Easily two or three inches long, with webs so strong they seem to be made out of fishing twine. More Mojo!>>

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