If you've ever wondered how Mojo became the enchanting and bewitching lass that she has become, wonder no more.

The only immediate family member from Mojo's youth to escape this seasonal wrath was her Favorite Younger Sister, who is represented via proxy. That's because Mojo did not have any decent pictures of her handy, and those I found on the internet tended to be crowd shots of her as a single face in a sea of faces. Because that's the sort of questionable life she leads. Not that Mojo judges. Not to her face, anyway.  MORE Mojo! »

Yes, I have been hearing the agonized shrieks of Mojo's little army of hoi polloi fans, even from way up here in my shiny gold tower. "Where's Mojo?" wafts the cry, borne upwards on the wings of, um, pigeons and stuff. And while Mojo has a distinct aversion to having to explain herself to the likes of lesser mortals, society dictates that she must swallow her annoyance and make a pretense of civility in her response, at least if she intends to keep the few fans she has.

So all I can say in my defense is, Mojo has a new camera. As in, a DROID INCREDIBLE. Yes, just when you thought Mojo couldn't possibly get more incredible than she already was, well, there she goes becoming even more incredible. And since Mojo is used to not using her phone if she can help it, it's been a steep learning curve getting her to download apps and use it for fun things.

One thing it DOES have is a pretty good camera, for a phone. SO I've been taking pictures, documenting my exciting and vibrant life. At the risk of creating even more envy among my bitter enemies, here is a sample of some of the exciting things I have done since getting my camera:  MORE Mojo! »

So I came home the other day and discovered I had finally received the poly chimney brushes I had ordered online. They have to be poly instead of the more common wire brushes because now with the fireplace insert we have a stainless steel chimney liner and the stove guy said a wire brush would scratch the liner and cause it to rust eventually.

Once I got them I simply HAD to try them out. Mojo's like that, much to our annoyance and/or entertainment. So git yerself a drink, put your feet up, and let's watch the hijinks, shall we?

First was just getting out the extension ladder. We've been keeping it on the ground under an overhang and since we don't use it all that often the leaves and weeds entangled it among the foundation sand and it took some excavating to get it out. And once I stood it on its feet and started extending it I started to have sand and wet leaves rain down on me. Which made it rather hard to get it set up against the side of the house. But that was a minor inconvenience.  MORE Mojo! »

I've decided it's simply not worth it. Whenever you try to be spontaneously nice to people, they give you such a hassle you end up wishing you'd never been born. Well, okay, maybe it's not that bad. But while Mojo is indeed a fan of delicious irony, never is the contrast and the irony greater than when you attempt to do a nice thing--just to be nice--and you just set yourself up for a heap of aggravation and annoyance.  MORE Mojo! »

So I'm out running errands the other day, and I keep getting stuck behind people who are lost and don't know where they're going. You know the sort. Slowing down, speeding up, suddenly throwing on their brakes, suddenly taking off again, not using their signals. And out here in the sticks of New England, the roads are all narrow and twisty, so there's no passing anyone.

Yeah, okay, you say. Mojo's complaining has reached a new low. Because everyone experiences that sort of day once in a while, when all the drivers seem to be not particularly competent or responsible.

Wait. It gets stranger. Nearly all the crazy drivers I encountered were from Delaware. No kidding. I now know that Delaware was the First State. At least according to the license plate.  MORE Mojo! »