One might think I spend ALL MY TIME watching television, but what I do is, well, okay, I have the news on in the early morning in the background, like now, so that if the world asploded overnight I might be vaguely aware of it. The rest of the day it is off, unless I decide to have a movie on in the background while I am working at the computer. (I don't bother with daytime television anymore. I just DON'T.  MORE Mojo! »

Okay, so I hate American Idol--hate hate HATE it--as I do just about each and every "reality" show out there. Don't watch 'em, think they're one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, downfall of society as we know it, turns your mind to mush, all that stuff. I can't even stand the freakin' COMMERCIALS. The only thing I like about it is the mean guy, Simon, whose sole job is apparently to introduce delusional people to the concept of Reality. And that's only from watching clips of various train wrecks that happen to make the news and/or the commercials. I've always suspected Simon is one of those crusty realists who hides the proverbial heart o' gold behind his snarkiness, but I digress.

Having said that, with all the current brouhaha over the British version of the show--which also has the Simon guy on it--I finally broke down this morning and went over to youtube to watch the Susan Boyle clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmbJzH93NU

If you haven't watched it, you really should. Once in a while, even reality television gets it right and does good.

Even Mojo, vicious, vicious creature that she is, got--okay, maybe just a little--choked up.

Mojo

Ya know, some commercials, I just don't get it. What are they thinking? What are they trying to say to the consumer? Why aren't they asking themselves these questions before they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars producing their commercials, let alone buy air time for them?  MORE Mojo! »

As much as Mojo likes to pretend she's a free spirit, tolerant and kind and open to all different experiences, every once in a while something comes up that hits home the simple fact that she is actually something of an anal-retentive dweeb. Like just now, checking out books at the library--the numbers on the date stamper were not aligned properly and I couldn't STAND it until I fixed it.  MORE Mojo! »

Okay, granted, on very rare occasions large companies can get away with ego-driven CEOs or presidents or owners or whatever who insist on starring in their own commercials despite the fact that said authority figure has all the on-camera presence and charisma of a used beach towel. I'm thinking here of anti-Hollywood type spokespeople such as Frank Perdue and Orville Redenbacher. Sometimes it works. And sometimes it's not the CEO's fault, but some advertising person who convinces them THEY should be the pitchman in their own commercials, citing Perdue and Redenbacher as examples.  MORE Mojo! »

Since I've complained bitterly about their commercials in the past, I suppose I should mention that I find Dunkin' Donuts latest, somewhat xenophobic, earworm chant of pretentious foreign-language words ("Fretalian") their competitors associate with coffee somewhat amusing.

Mostly because I have been in Starbucks maybe five or six times in my life--while they are ubiquitous in urban centers, there are far fewer out here among the cow pies--and each time they make me roll my eyes at the counter in their feeble attempts to make Mojo sound like pretentious Eurotrash when she just wants some coffee. I have made it a point of honor not to bother saying "venti" or "grande" or whathaveyou. I just say "Gimmee a large" and the person behind the counter seems to understand my meaning.  MORE Mojo! »

So my Favorite Younger Sister, aka The Weasel, takes me to task for my dislike of the Dunkin' Donuts "Doin' Things Is What I Like To Do" commercial. She does not understand how I can detest it so much. She thinks I do not like ALL the commercials in the campaign, but that's not true. Only the first one. The others I am cool with, although I fear (well, "fear" isn't exactly the right word, since I really don't care one way or another) that Dunkies is trying too hard to be hip at the expense of their blue collar no-frills cuppa joe base.

One thing the Weasel pointed out is, all the music on the commercials is They Might Be Giants. I did not know that. Now, even though I don't think I've heard anything from TMBG since their "Flood" album, I've always liked them. They have a certain higher-tech ultra-sampled Frank Zappa mentality that I enjoy. In fact, I must credit the Favorite Younger Sister for introducing me to them, since she made me a mix tape once with Bare Naked Ladies on one side (she stalks the band--seriously, they know her and everything. She once flew to freakin' Scotland just to see a concert. But I digress...) and TMBG on the other. It was an excellent and benevolent gift. I played that tape for years until the car's tape player finally ate it. And then I gave her back the label with all the songs written on it and begged for another. Have I gotten the replacement mix tape yet? No. It's all excuses like "Gee, I'm having a baby right now" or "Can you take these manacles off my wrists so I can eat my gruel" and other whiney stuff. So all this time I've had to make due with Malcolm in the Middle reruns, which is not pretty.  MORE Mojo! »

Okay, granted, this commercial has two strikes against it before it even starts.

First, Mojo does not particularly care for soda or carbonated beverages of any kind. Yet she can appreciate good commercials even if she doesn't like the product.

Second, Mojo is admittedly an old fogie. Don't ask her to try to name or differentiate between the various blonde bimbos now propagating on the airwaves pretending they have the ability to sing. Mojo wouldn't know any of them if she fell over them. And lately she notices she and her Favorite Husband tend to complain that the music in some commercials has become too loud and obnoxious. They are sounding way too much like Mojo's Favorite Parents, who Mojo remembers as a child castigating and saying "What do you MEAN who's that, Mom? Duh! That's DAVID CASSIDY!"  MORE Mojo! »