This is a panel I did probably fifteen or twenty years ago. Mrs. Dog is portrayed by our dog, George.

So Mojo is one of those poor misinformed people who has never had the opportunity to see certain movie classics. Like Taxi Driver. Sure, I've seen enough clips and parodies you'd SWEAR I've seen it all the way through, but I haven't. (Ditto The Godfather until I was somewhere in my thirties.)

No, this isn't about seeing Taxi Driver, although that's on my to-do list. This is about another movie I've heard so much about most of my life, and I finally got the chance to see it. Midnight Express, the Turkish prison "horror" movie that pretty much everyone my age saw when it first came out and were traumatized for life by it, and then didn't have to have things Explained To Them when scenes were parodied in other movies or TV shows.

Anyway, after twenty years or so of people TALKING INCESSANTLY about it, I finally saw it this weekend.  MORE Mojo! »

Found out what was wrong with the chainsaw.

Ethanol gas.

If you're not Crazy Professional Chainsaw User and you let it sit for a season, apparently ethanol is not a good thing to have sitting and mellowing in your little two-stroke engine.  MORE Mojo! »

You just KNOW it's gonna be a good one, folks, when Mojo reviews the Spartan epic 300 along with The Wonder Pets. Guess which one Mojo liked best? Granted, the Wonder Pets don't have ripped six- and even eight-packs exposed like a Chippendales dancer convention, but ultimately I found them more enjoyable.  MORE Mojo! »

I was writing up my description of the Craptacular, comparing it to various home shopping networks, except that I make fun of the merchandise and there's no D-list ex-celebrities squeezing the last few seconds of fame from their allotted 15 minutes. And then it occurred to me....  MORE Mojo! »

Oh..... Dear..... Lord..... In.....Heaven.....

What can I possibly say? This thing sells itself. Or at least so I hope and pray on a daily basis.

It's a pig's head. It's white. It's ceramic. It's got these weird red plastic eyes that seem to glow. This pig whispers to you while you're sleeping and tells you to do evil things in your dreams. One look and you can see why those kids went bonkers in Golding's Lord of the Flies. Or was it Lord of the Dance? I tell ya, anyone who claims to be the Lord of Anything is obviously up to no good.  MORE Mojo! »