Mojo Versus the Phone Companies

So Mojo has sadly resigned herself to the fact that the Evil V will never, ever EVER give her DSL internet.

Mojo is okay with reality. She doesn't spend too much time moping or wishing things were different or droning endless affirmations reflecting how she would like her life to be under the delusion that doing so will somehow change things. She is happy enough with her MiFi, and for any HUGE uploads she goes visiting other people under the pretense that she likes them, when really she just wants to jump on their wireless to upload another pointless YouTube video. It's what she calls a "social life".

But after hearing a happy tale from a luckier person (who we suspect is just throwing her extreme internet happiness in Mojo's face, but once again whatcha gonna do), she thought she'd see if Evil V's competitor, AT&T, might be willing to supply home phone and internet. So she goes to AT&T's site and plugs in her address to see if any form of high speed internet is available in her area. More Mojo!>>

God's Problem Bear...

Mojo tries to live a carefree life with few regrets. And usually, she's pretty successful at that, despite her silly Blog o' Complaints. But there is a recent moment in time I am now regretting, with a sort of vague sadness.

Let us cut to about a month ago, when I first reported about Problem Bear. I didn't name him. The honkin' big red tags stapled to his ears named him. "Problem Bear" is actually a technical term used by Fish & Wildlife folks to designate a bear that has become habituated to people and hence become a problem hanging around houses, dumping people's garbage, etc. While some people think it's "cute" to have wild animals eating food off their porches or sniffing at their window screens, it becomes far less cute when the animal starts destroying property or killing livestock or frightening defenseless little housewifey ladies.

So anyway, I go out to try to scare off Mister Problem Bear, and when I present myself to him and yell at him in my finest Fishwife Voice, he pays me practically no heed. We're about twenty feet from each other, me in my bathrobe trying to yell all scary, and him eating blackberries and just sort of looking at me between mouthfuls. More Mojo!>>

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