(Oh, hey, he's finally up on eBay--go give the poor fellow a visit, and/or bid on him if you have nothing better to do and you're into that. Otherwise, just enjoy or hate as you see fit....)

Yes, My Six-Or-So Fans, MOJO'S BACK!!

Try to contain your excitement! Yes, Mojo's back with a whole year's worth of crap, and in typical Mojo fashion she is a month late in starting the festivities, which she will have you believe is because she is oh so busy and important but we both know it's because it takes an Act of Congress to get her off her sorry behind and do the things she promised she would eventually get to. (Yes!!! Mojo ends yet another sentence with a preposition! She is ON A ROLL, baby!)

So being it's now February, and hence Valentine's season, what BETTER way to tell your Loved Ones that you indeed tolerate their very existence with Mojo's T-Rex of LUV. Oh, sure, there will be some cynics out there who will try to tell you that Mojo has just come up with that name as a gimmicky "hook" to make you want this for Valentine's Day, and in reality a T-Rex is a heartless, soulless reptilian predator with a brain the size of a kitten's—and not a particularly BRIGHT kitten, either, but rather the sort who keeps showing up on YouTube smacking into windows and mirrors. Mojo indeed used to OWN such a kitten, but it did not survive much into adulthood, I suspect because it was awfully fond of dogs and while yes, our dog was a kind and loving creature I'm thinking the neighborhood coyotes looked upon idiot kittens in a slightly different fashion. So poor Ellie (that was the kitty's name) went to live on a farm somewhere. At least that's what my Favorite Husband told me. Which is sort of odd because we already sort of live on a farm. At least it WOULD be if I bothered to grow anything. But I digress.  MORE Mojo! »

You will note, as the glorious festivities continue, that this is Squirrel Awareness Week. It is NOT Hug-a-Squirrel Week. So please, people, if you are attempting to HUG our tiny-brained friends, PLEASE STOP IMMEDIATELY.

Why, you ask, as you continue to chase them. Well, as my idol C.M. Burns once said, "Don't take my word for it--let's ask an actor portraying Charles Darwin what HE thinks!"

You know how squirrels have those cunning little paws? Take a look at what's on the end of them. CLAWS. Sharp, sharp claws.

And do you know what's in that furry little head? No brains, I assure you. There's no room after they fit in those GIANT NUT-CRUSHING TEETH.

So anyone who might wish to actually attempt to hug a squirrel will soon find the animal using these primitive tools to effect an escape. They will start to burrow, and take the easiest path of least resistance.

Mojo assumes that will be your innards.

This has been another public service announcement for the betterment of stupid people.

Mojo