Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.

That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work.

We can outsmart those dolphins! Don't forget--we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup!

Yeah, and that's another thing! I resent you people using that word! That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!

Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.

Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.

You mean you gave away both your dogs? You know how I feel about giving!

Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.