Teach Your Grandmother

Swallows and AmazonsMy Sainted Favorite Mother had a saying for as long as I can remember. If you were stating the painfully obvious or just trying to tell her something she already knew, she would lovingly snap "Teach your grandmother!" in lieu of the less polite and less cultured "Shut the hell up."

Or so I always believed. "Teach your grandmother", in this context, had a very obvious etymology: one's grandmother, it is assumed, is/was a wise, intelligent and experienced person, and any life lessons you might wish to impart to her have probably already been learned.


GollumAn Instructional Dialogue Betwixt Mojo and Her Favorite Husband Ensues:

FAVORITE HUSBAND: I was in a hotel room the other night and I caught THE HOBBIT movie on cable.

MOJO: WHICH Hobbit movie? There are THREE of them.

FH: The one that happens before they dump the ring into the lava.

Happy Birthday, Phineas!

Phineas Gage

So yesterday, it turns out, was the birthday of Phineas Gage. If you DON'T know who Phineas Gage was, you have either been living under a rock for the past twenty years, or you have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in human behavior and/or neurobiology. I happen to be somewhat interested in these topics, but to be honest I am getting a little tired of them trotting out poor winking Phineas whenever they want to make a point about impulse control in the human brain.



Cue the Theme from JAWS....

So this morning I went shopping super-early (to avoid crowds 'n' whatnot) and I was on my way home, which is mostly on dinky little rural roads out in the middle of nowhere. I had just turned onto yet another dinky little rural road and started climbing the hill that marks the beginning of the thousand-foot "mountain" I must climb to reach where my house actually is (they don't call them "The Hilltowns" fer nothin!).


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