Dear Wanna-be Criminal, Politician, or Combination Thereof,
First off, congratulations on discovering your life's purpose. Many people just kind stumble like a zombie through this special gift we call life--and not the trendy, hip zombies of today, but the lame, stupid zombies of a bygone age. It's frankly refreshing to see someone with drive and initiative, even if all this newfound energy consists mostly of posting images on Facebook chock full of inspirational quotes gleaned from other, smarter people.
I'd like to talk to you briefly about this whole internet/web/computery thing that you don't quite get. Oh, sure, you THINK you get it. You've mastered your smartphone to the point where it can direct you to the nearest coffee shop or car repair facility. Yes, that's quite an accomplishment, and we're all so very proud of you. I thought I would spend a minute delving a little deeper into this whole technology thingie, just so your newfound, scripty-fonted-quote-over-a-sunset ambition isn't thwarted by Cruel Reality.
(Oh, hey, here's one; I think from Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't... you're RIGHT.")