Strange Phone Timepiece Doohickey!

I think my brother gave this to me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it. It's a little phone-thingie with a small clock embedded in the front. If you turn on the switch on the bottom, it makes an annoying phone ringing sound when you pick up the handpiece. A three year old relative loved it. The clock pops out and I guess has a separate battery for it to work, but I can't figure out how the clock back opens to get it going. But it all comes in this lovely flannel-like black bag (with a NYLON STRING for a drawcord!!!! OMG!!!! Who can resist the Siren lure of nylon string? If there is one thing I have learned from this holiday season, it is that a gift is apparently not truly worth giving unless there is nylon string somehow involved in the production and/or presentation!) and a slightly disheveled but perfectly serviceable green corrugated cardboard box. My brother is particularly fond of giving pointless, awful gifts just for the joy of giving. If you make a vague request on your list for "DVDs" he won't just give you a gift card. Oh, no, that would be too easy. No, he goes to the video store and picks up the worst possible straight-to-video titles you could ever imagine and makes you go back to the video store to return them for store credit. I then have the added burden of trying to keep these lovely gifts in their original packaging while my brother, father, husband and various brothers-in-law all admire just how wretchedly bad said movie must be. Invariably after I leave the room the holiday conversation tilts toward "Wow, this movie looks so bad I think we should open it just to watch it!" "No, you are NOT opening it!" I respond, running shrieking back into the living room, foregoing my usual aplomb as I rip the offending present out of its admiring hands. "You are NOT opening it! It is BEING RETURNED!" Whereupon the menfolk exchange sympathetic glances with my husband for having to put up with such a fishwife on a daily basis.

But enough of my familial woes. You are here hungrily admiring this thing and wondering how you can ever hope to possess such an object. You know the drill. Good luck with the bidding, and maybe someone out there has some sort of desperate need for a round little phone with a clock in it. The clock stands about 2" tall. The box it comes in measures about 3.5" X 2". If you squint closely at this closeup you can see me in it, as well as my light stand and camera. Just goes to show you how much preparation I put into this picture. Almost as much thought as you'll expend regifting this to someone else....

Mojo's Holiday Craptacular....

"The Gifts that Keep on Being Given"

(dead poinsettia not included)