So the other day my Six-Year-Old Friend suggested we go to see The Bee Movie. Against my better judgment I agreed. To spread the joy I begged my Favorite Mother to come with us, so that SHE could endure it as well as me.

For those who haven't seen it, don't bother. There is only one funny line in the whole movie, and it's one of the last lines in it. To save everyone the pain and aggravation of sitting still for an hour and a half, I will tell you this joke at the end of this post. But first I will break so if for some reason you WANT to sit through it you may. And I warn you: it's a rather tired, unoriginal lawyer joke. Mojo's insisting that it's the best part of the movie should be a warning to you all.

First, I will say I enjoy Jerry Seinfeld. I loved the show, although to be perfectly honest I mostly loved Elaine. I thought she was very funny. Also, in keeping with my tradition of going against society as a whole I never cared much for Kramer. Every time when he came sliding into the apartment and everyone screamed I was rolling my eyes. But for the most part I liked the show.

I *DO* wish that adults would realize and appreciate that writing for kids is a totally different ball game. It's not "easier" just because the format is shorter. I suspect my yearly Christmas wish--that celebrities stop writing badly-scanning rhyming children's books--will go unfulfilled again this year, so I don't think too much is going to be happening on this front of Mojo's existence. But I can dream, can't I?

But even those who haven't a CLUE what may or may not interest small children--one would think--could predict that, of all the plot devices to employ, PERHAPS staging the majority of the movie in a courtroom depicting--almost in REAL TIME, mind you--a massive class-action lawsuit is NOT the most tot-pleasing situations one can place anthropomorphized cartoon creatures. Is it REALLY such a stretch to consider that my Six-Year-Old Friend, as bright as I suspect he is, doesn't quite grasp the whole "suing someone in court" concept? Especially since after, I asked him if he enjoyed the movie, and he said yes, he thought it was silly. And I asked how he liked the court scenes, which is about half the movie, and he said, "I didn't understand what was happening there." From that Mojo in her infinite wisdom--along with all the squirming--is able to deduce that he really wasn't all that keen on it. I think he says he likes things just to be nice.

I had my suspicions, too, when I invited both of his parents along for the afternoon's entertainment and I got these stammering hysterical excuses about just how BUSY they were going to be that day and they couldn't POSSIBLY find the time to escape for two hours. When I finally dragged my sorry butt back to their house, son in tow, they were giggling in an evil fashion and asking "How was the movie?" in a suspiciously innocent way. Since they are both in the animation industry one can only guess they had insider information about just how wretched it was gonna be. Or make that "bee", and you'll have an idea of just how funny the joke writing was. "Bee", get it? Oh, my. I'll have to sit down before I hurt myself laughing.

And now here's the one funny joke in the entire movie, delivered by Chris Rock, another person I enjoy and I dearly wish he could find a suitable vehicle to really take him places. Chris Rock plays a mosquito Jerry/Bee meets on a windshield. (I forget the Jerry/Bee character's name.) It's just a two minute cameo, but then in the end he shows up again. In the end the bees win their lawsuit and Jerry/Bee opens up a lawyering business catering to other exploited animals. And when he becomes too busy with his personal life to bother with his clients, he refers his sobbing client to one of his "associates". Whereupon the door busts open and in flies the Chris Rock mosquito, carrying a briefcase. And he says (drum roll, please): "I've always been a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase!"

There. Now you don't have to see it. Plus to make my day complete my Favorite Mother decided to instigate a most unpleasant conversation with my Six-Year-Old Friend and then leave ME to deal with it. But that can wait until tomorrow....

Mojo