Just in case.

Just in case, God forbid, I am somehow incapacitated and can no longer make my wishes known, here is written instructions on how I like to cook and eat hot dogs. Not that I ONLY eat hot dogs, but you know.

1. The local Costco only had Hebrew Nationals, but I've decided I don't like them. They do not seem to "blacken" properly. I don't know if this is a pork thing or an Oscar Meyer thing, but I've decided I prefer Oscar Meyers.

2. The hot dogs have to be blackened under the broiler. None of that disgusting boiling nonsense. Not blackened to a cinder, but I like having the skin well-burned.

3. The buns need to be toasted EVER SO SLIGHTLY. Not until they color, just until they get a bit toasty-feeling. This keeps them from getting SOGGY. Soggy bread is the bane of my existence. It is a horror that needs to be avoided at all costs. I find if I put them in the convection microwave and preheat to 325 degrees F they are toasty enough. It is solely to keep it from getting soggy--alternative is to wait until after the hot dog is there and then add the condiments on top of it.

4. Condiments: YELLOW mustard, coating the inside of the bun without puddling anywhere. Not too much in any one place. I like mustard whereever there is bread.

5. After the bun has been properly mustarded, put some sweet pickle relish in the bottom crack of the bun, just enough to fill it without being too too much.

6. Put burned hot dogs onto prepared buns. Optional--add a line of mustard to the top of the hot dog. Be careful--you don't want too much mustard or it will be too mustardy. You want a nice mix of sweet pickle relish and yellow mustard.

There ya go. Pure heaven.