Submitted by mojo on
Mojo's Favorite Mother's Owl Collection, Volume 11
Cute Little Possibly Antique Owl!
Mojo does not know or remember or particularly care if her Favorite Mother's Owl Collection was something her mother actually wanted to collect, or if it was intially or subsequently foisted upon her by a large family desperate for ideas for holiday gifts to give her. All she knows is, now her Favorite Mother no longer wants or needs or desires her Owl Collection. So Mojo's Favorite Mother cunningly foisted these things on her Forgotten Middle Daughter, in a pretense of supporting the Craptacular, but we all know the reality is, it saved her a trip to the dump. And now these things are cluttering Mojo's house instead of her own, heh heh heh. Now you see where Mojo gets her cunning, cleverly wrapped as it is in a verbose folly of ineptitude and greed. And you can also see, perhaps, that Mojo is no match for her senior when it comes to wheedling manipulation and distraction techniques while foisting crap upon a gullible subject.
Okay, so this guy gets his own auction for a couple of reasons. First, Mojo likes him. She thinks he is cute in a weird red cat-eyed sort of way. Also, she suspects he might be antique, but she does not know for certain. But mostly because Mojo can't for the life of her figure out what he is for. And in Mojo's world things must have a purpose, or they only confuse her all the more.
He is only about two inches tall. He is ceramic. He is hollow. And he has several large holes in the top of his head. Why? I don't know. He's way too small to be a salt shaker, and there are way too many holes. He doesn't have a cork on the bottom. If you attempted to use him as a spice shaker he would pour out all of his contents in a matter of seconds with all the giant holes in his head. He's too tiny to really do anything.
Then I thought, maybe he's meant to go on top of those little Christmas lights on a string. Problem with that theory is, he does not appear to be translucent, so the light would only come out the holes. So you would get this wierd tiny owl sitting on your tree with beams of light shooting out of his head. Doesn't strike me as a really great way to decorate your house, but then again Mojo does not understand a variety of things that she thinks are stupid and yet become big commercial hits. Anyway, this sounds like a stupid theory and I don't have any Christmas lights hanging around to test it, but Mojo is grabbing at straws here.
Anyway, should you know what this tiny little fellow is for, tell me. Or, if you wish to bid on him, bid on him. He comes with his very own Certificate of Craptacularity, so whatever he does, he's certified to do it. So go ahead and enlighten me. Mojo craves knowledge. Or just appreciate him for the red-eyed bright yellow weirdness. Whatever. If you like him, bid on him, and he's yours!
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