I Think I Might Have Poison Ivy.

IvyI *think* I *might* have it. I don't really know. There have been two other times in my life when I *think* I might have had it, but it's never how other people get it.

First off, I almost NEVER get poison ivy. I can roll around in the stuff. I can handle it with bare hands. I think you could mash it up, pour boiling water over it, let it cool and bathe me in the liquid and I'd be fine. Of course I am not one to tempt fate, so I tend to steer clear of it just to be on the safe side, but it seems I'm just generally not allergic to it.


One summer, maybe twenty or thirty years ago, I got a tiny, singular spot on my leg. A single spot, like a mosquito bite. Except no mosquito bite EVVAAR itched like THAT one. We're talking deep, down-to-the-bone itch. And, unlike a mosquito bite, when I scratched it, it felt GOOD. Scratching that itch was the BEST THING IN THE WORLD. So I scratched it for five or ten minutes, until it stopped being itchy. And then it got better. The end.

(And no, I've been bitten by many a bug through the years. I don't think it was a bug. It certainly wasn't a mosquito or tick bite, I'll tell you that.)

Almost the exact same thing happened to me maybe ten or twelve years ago. Single, tiny spot. Itched like nobody's business. Utterly delightful to scratch, then it stopped itching and healed right up.

Same thing today. Thought maybe I had a mosquito bite on my foot this morning. Spent the day in shoes and socks, and when I took them off I had to scratch it DESPERATELY. OOOH GLORIOUS. And then it stopped itching. The End.

I am confused because this is NOT how it goes for people I know who've had poison ivy. The Favorite Husband has HORROR STORIES of getting it all over himself. I've seen people with horrifying, crusty, weepy welts all over themselves. And then I look at the one tiny little spot I have gotten, for the third time in my life. And I think, is this poison ivy? What else could it be?

This particular go-round is particularly puzzling since I haven't seen any ivy anywhere in my travels. I would have most likely gotten it when mowing the lawn on Sunday, except I didn't see any and besides, I was wearing sneakers and socks. I *DO* tend to run around barefoot, but not when operating a high-powered gasoline lawnmower. Perhaps the dog rolled in it somewhere and is now spreading the joy around the house.

Anyway, I think I have it. And, for the record, that five minutes of scratching has got to be one of the most GLORIOUS FEELINGS ON EARTH. But now it's gone, and as usual I am left wondering: is this poison ivy?

I may never know.