Submitted by mojo on
When people ask why Mojo continues to follow such an obvious, lame dinosaur such as Mary Worth, all I can say is, THIS.
First, the long and involved backstory, which by my guess has been going on for the past six or eight tedious months. Elderly neighbor Hanna has been terrorizing the entire Charterstone complex due to her failing eyesight, which causes her to become an absolute menace behind the wheel. Mary Worth, at her most meddlesome, intervenes, visits Hanna and suggests she move to an assisted living facility (to keep her off the road, don'tcha know). She arranges a visit to some convenient-to-the-plot facility (I forget the name offhand), where they are squired about by an elderly widower (read AVAILABLE) named Sean, who falls madly in wuv with mousy Hanna, who over the course of the story changes fairly dramatically from frail, whiny incompetent to the take-charge newlywed biddy we admire today. (There is also a great deal of unintentional off-color mirth about Hanna's apparent ability to play the flute, but Mojo will ignore that part. You're welcome.)
One of the subplots of this magical tale of wuv involves Hanna's equally incompetent and whiny daughter, Amy, and her blob of a son, Gordon. Gordon only exists in this storyline so Amy can foist him on his Grandma whenever Amy has a hot date--which seems to happen far too often for such an obviously nasty and unpleasant person, if you ask me--and woe betide Hanna should she ever not be home to babysit at the last minute.
As you can now surmise, her budding romance with Assisted Living Sean eventually causes her on occasion to NOT BE HOME when Amy has demanded Hanna's babysitting services. Which, quite laughably, only happens when Amy already has the kid in her car on her way to the hot date, and not even a phone call to ask "Are you free, Mom? I'll be by in an hour to drop off my darling blob of a son." When Amy and Gordon show up and Hanna is not there to babysit--causing Amy to have to BRING HIM ALONG on her hot date--the inconvenience caused Amy to fall into a spectacular rage before the storyline abruptly dropped her and Gordon Blob and focused instead on the twoo wuv of Hanna and Sean.
But lest we forget Amy forever, when Hanna and Sean decide to get married--kinda at the drop of a hat, and they hustle Mary Worth to be their witness at the JP's office--either Mary or Hanna (I forget which) brings up the uncomfortable fact that Hanna has this totally bitchy daughter (oh, yeah--Amy!), and should they bother to tell her that her mother is about to be married?
For reasons Mojo has yet to adequately grasp, Mary counsels Hanna that no, it's perfectly reasonable for Hanna to neglect telling her daughter of her impending nuptials, as there is plenty of time after the fact to inform her. Right along the lines of "Pfft! Amy! Why let HER spoil your perfect day?" But now, in the sandwich shop after the wedding (it's Mary's treat, I'll have you know! Ummm, sammiches!), it is finally brought up that Amy can now help her mother move in with Assisted Living Sean. As in, "I can't be bothered to invite you to my wedding, but to make up for it you can help me move my stuff. And if you're careful with it, someday it may be yours!"
Yeah. This is gonna go GREAT. And THAT, my dears, is why we love Mary Worth.
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