Submitted by mojo on
The two cats being Fred, the gray Maine Coon, AKA “the smart one” and Sadie, the black DSH, AKA “the stupid one”.
Step one: Put toilet-shaped litter box on the floor where the OLD litter box used to be.
FRED: Yeah, okay, whatever.
SADIE: OMG THERE IS CHANGE IN MY LIFE SOMEONE’S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!
By the end of the week, both cats are observed using it.
Step two: Move the toilet-shaped litter box six feet over, nearer the toilet.
FRED: Yeah, okay, whatever.
SADIE: SOMEONE PLEASE CALL THE HUMANE SOCIETY ON MY BEHALF! CALL THE AUTHORITIES! THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN TO A CAT!!!
By the end of the week, both cats are observed using it.
Step three: Move the toilet-shaped litter box UP ONTO THE TOILET.
FRED: Yeah, okay, whatever.
SADIE: I COMMANDEER THIS COMPUTER TO IMPLORE ALL CAT-LOVING PEOPLE OUT THERE TO COME SAVE ME FROM THIS HORRIFIC ABUSE! OH HOW I WISH I WAS NEVER RESCUED AS A KITTEN AND SUBJECTED TO SUCH TORTURE! THERE ARE LAWS, AREN’T THERE? SOMEONE ON CRAIGSLIST GOT IN TROUBLE FOR RESELLING RESCUE DOGS—THIS IS FAR, FAR WORSE!!!
By the end of the week:
FRED: OMG JUST LISTEN TO THE CAT LITTER RAINING DOWN AND SCATTERING ON THE TILE!!! I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY!!! IN FACT, I THINK I WILL!!!
SADIE: I have lost the will to live. You internet people claim you love cats, yet you have done NOTHING.... NOTHING.... to help me. Maybe if I hold it…. FOREVER.
Next episode: A TINY, quarter-sized HOLE APPEARS IN THE TRAY!!! Here's a preview:
FRED: Wow, this is so UTTERLY FASCINATING! I can stare at the water under this hole ALL DAY.
SADIE: WHY DO YOU KEEP TORTURING ME SO? WHY? WHY?!?
- mojo's blog
- Log in to post comments