Deathbed Wisdom

Mojo is occasionally active on Facebook--unlike the rest of the world--and it is not uncommon for well-meaning people to offer (or at least propagate) Inspirational Quotes and Lists to Help Guide Us on the Journey. Some of them are thoughtful and pregnant with meaning, while some are merely annoying to Mojo, such as when someone attributes something like "OMG just LOOK at that SUNSET!!! It, like, makes me feel all PEACEFUL AND STUFF!" to Thoreau, who most certainly did not write that way.

A subset of these somewhat glurgy inspirational posts is the Deathbed Wisdom posts, in which--so we are told--vast numbers of people on their deathbeds have been polled to reveal their greatest regrets and wishes now that they are staring Death right in his (or her) GAPING MAW. Oh me oh my, where to begin.

Well, for starters, I am loathe to believe someone has gone around polling people on their deathbeds--certainly if *I* were lying there pondering the Vastness of Eternity, the last thing *I* would want is for some stranger to burst into the room to ask me what I most regretted in life. I'm guessing most of these "lists" are fanciful romanticisms of what you'd THINK a thoughtful, intelligent person would want to convey to posterity. They mostly state what should be obvious to most emotionally healthy people: Spend more time with your family and friends and less time at work; ignore and avoid stupid mean people; live, love and laugh; blah blah blah.

All of these are lovely sentiments, don't get me wrong. But I am living this very scenario right now--well, not me, but someone I am obligated to visit in the hospital on a regular basis--and the reality, at least for me, is not as heartwarming as one might imagine. Still, I can't help but feel there is an otherworldly wisdom to these words, so I've made my own inspirational posters to share. To make them even MORE inspirational I have set them over pictures of adorable kittens, to more fully convey the esoteric wisdom therein. So light some candles, put on some soft New Agey World Music That Rips Off Some Noble Indigenous Peoples Who Don't Know We've Stolen From Them, and peruse and wonder at some of the Eternal Mysteries of Life...

(He means he want more Ensure.)