Okay, I understand some of YOU dullards out there might not always listen to every word Mojo says. Sadly, that's par for the course. But when Mojo herself has to repeat things she has ALREADY SAID to REMIND her of Certain Life Lessons, well, it's just sad.
First off, in case it's not perfectly clear to the regulars who come here, Mojo likes movies. Mojo watches movies. I don't always bother reviewing them, because first off there's so many of the darned things I'd be spending the rest of my life rehashing movies I've seen and re-seen. And most of them, frankly, aren't worth the bother. My time is better spent. I remember as a teen watching Siskel and Ebert and thinking, in my artless teenaged Mojo fashion, that I would just LOVE to be a film reviewer, until one day one of 'em started complaining, as a segue into reviewing a terrible, terrible film, about how their job as film reviewers forced them to sit through some of the most godawful stuff ever committed to celluloid.
Now, Mojo is a particularly tolerant lass, and she can sit through juuuuuuuusssst about anything. The most recent exception being, as I've said before, the "Charlie's Angels" remake movie, which I could only stand for about fifteen minutes. (And no, I haven't bothered to see the sequel. Maybe I am not so tolerant as I pretend to be.) But I remembered and reflected on this complaint, and I decided that, no, I would NOT like to have to sit through a couple of films a day and then write a college term paper on each one. Some I would like to, but most? No.
We watch probably three or four per weekend, not including going out to the real movies to see new releases (this weekend's was Toy Story 3. It was okay. One of the toys was a stuffed Totoro, as an apparent homage to Miyazaki--one of the cutest animated film spirits ever, until possibly eclipsed by the Kodamas in Princess Mononoke. So in the middle of the movie Mojo suddenly shouts "Totoro!" for no apparent reason). So it is not an exaggeration to say I probably see a hundred or two movies per year, at least. And maybe half of them I see twice--first with my Favorite Husband, watching the movie, and then again alone, usually on time-and-a-half, to listen to the commentaries. My Favorite Husband HATES listening to commentaries. He finds them "distracting". This from a man who will hit the pause button and stroll out of the room to get a snack and not come back for fifteen minutes. This from a man who can claim he is watching three television shows at once by switching channels during commericials. Somehow THAT is not distracting, but listening to knowledgable people TALK about what's happening on the screen *IS* distacting. Go figure. But again, I digress.
We finally made the cautious decision-as-a-couple this weekend to look into joining Netflix. Because we are NEVER going to get cable TV in our neck of the woods, and I have never bothered to call to see if we could get a satellite dish hookup, since I don't think THAT's going to happen without a bulldozer ripping a path through the trees toward the satellite. And while Mojo is anticipating the many promises of 3G and 4G digital networks, it's not going to come fast enough for Mojo's consumption of movies. It just isn't. So Netflix by mail, here we probably come.
But this is not a commercial for Netflix. Instead, it is to say that, this weekend I was utterly bored and doing laundry, and my Favorite Husband put Mel Gibson's Braveheart on the player (we happen to own it--I think my Favorite Mother gave it to all of us kiddies, since we are somehow distantly related to Wallace), and then promptly left to go visit a friend. And Mojo, being Bored Mojo Doing Laundry, was too lazy to take it out and put something else in, so I just hit "play" and decided to listen to the commentary as I bopped around the house. And then I sat there for a while thinking to myself, good heavens, this has to be the absolute WORST COMMENTARY I have ever heard in my LIFE. It's just plain STUPID. Okay, I can disregard Gibson's political and religious beliefs, I can disregard his tendency to just completely throw any sort of historical veracity ENTIRELY OUT THE WINDOW, etc. The guy makes pretty, pretty films when he's not into all the torture and gore. Which he's into. But his commentaries are like listening to a meathead in a bar lecture you about, um, "stuff". It is just TEDIOUS to sit through.
So I'm sitting there, and I'm thinking to myself, why do you torture yourself thusly, Mojo? Certainly you deserve better than this. And then I start thinking to myself, you know, this reminds me of another time I sat here and tried to sit through a really awful commentary. What was that movie again? And then it struck me:
Which, for those of you too lazy to click, was the last Mel Gibson commentary I attempted to sit through.
So, just click back in time, read that blog posting, and then think "ditto" today. You can manage THAT much, can't you?