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Submitted by mojo on Mon, 06/21/2010 - 5:25am
Yes, I have been hearing the agonized shrieks of Mojo's little army of hoi polloi fans, even from way up here in my shiny gold tower. "Where's Mojo?" wafts the cry, borne upwards on the wings of, um, pigeons and stuff. And while Mojo has a distinct aversion to having to explain herself to the likes of lesser mortals, society dictates that she must swallow her annoyance and make a pretense of civility in her response, at least if she intends to keep the few fans she has.
So all I can say in my defense is, Mojo has a new camera. As in, a DROID INCREDIBLE. Yes, just when you thought Mojo couldn't possibly get more incredible than she already was, well, there she goes becoming even more incredible. And since Mojo is used to not using her phone if she can help it, it's been a steep learning curve getting her to download apps and use it for fun things.
One thing it DOES have is a pretty good camera, for a phone. SO I've been taking pictures, documenting my exciting and vibrant life. At the risk of creating even more envy among my bitter enemies, here is a sample of some of the exciting things I have done since getting my camera:
1. Abuse the dog. 'Nuff said. Sadly, as we all know with Mojo, that's a given.
2. Abuse the local wildlife. Because even amphibians deserve a world free from Too Much Mojo. This is not going to happen when Mojo is trying out her AWESOME NEW CAMERA PHONE.
3. Abuse other people's pets. Because Mojo is just plain evil. But we knew that already, didn't we? Hmmm, feed the horsie, or just cruelly stand there and take a picture? I think we have our answer.
4. Abuse the sacred trust the federal authorities have with the general populace. Because technically, if you knew where this picture was taken (and no, it's nowhere near Mojo's house, so there), you'd know that technically Mojo was NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. So Mojo is joining the ranks of imbeciles who post evidence of their crimes against humanity, in the hopes that she will be ignored in the vast, oily ocean of stupidity that is the web.
Mojo's Favorite Husband has already made a few snarky comments about her using her new phone to a somewhat obnoxious extreme. To which Mojo sez, he should be thankful I didn't post the pictures of a Certain Someone Dinny Skipping. Though I *DID* show them to my Favorite Mother. So there. Honest and truly, I DID. I expect total silence from that faction from here on out....
LOOK! LOOK! MOJO STUFF!