Like, say, Cool Whip. Usually I refrain from mentioning a specific product unless they do something entirely egregious (*ahem*, Axe commercials), but Cool Whip belongs on that short list because I believe it is one of the nastiest chemical substances I have ever encountered. Is there the slightest bit of "natural" in this product? I think not. Wired Magazine refers to its primary ingredients--only somewhat tongue in cheek--as a "delicious blend of sugar, wax, and condom lube".

Even Twinkies--at least they used to; can't say I know much about them nowadays--used LARD in their filling. Yep, Twinkies cream was essentially sugar and lard, whipped together. Cool Whip can't even claim that. Seeing how you can get real sweetened whipped cream in a can, why would ANYONE stain a perfectly good dessert with Cool Whip? I just don't get it.

And no, fun dancy jingles will not sway Mojo on this. Cool Whip is revoltingly disgusting. It's what I imagine the laxative tastes like before they add the chocolate to make those chocolate laxative squares. Not that I've ever eaten any of those; I'm just supposing. Blast McDonalds as much as you like--Mojo has done her share there as well--but at least you can recognize bits of Mickey D's food and where it comes from, even if it is only iceberg lettuce. I see Cool Whip manufactured in the same place they used to make CD-ROMS, with everyone in white coats and masks to protect themselves and their progeny from the vile chemicals used in its manufacture.

So if you need to put some sort of whipped cream on something and you just can't bring yourself to drag out the mixer or the whisk, just get an aerosol can of REAL cream, would ya? At least the can can be recycled. I suspect nothing recycles the chemical horror of Cool Whip. Years from now, after nuclear Armageddon, it will be cockroaches and Cool Whip. And I wouldn't be surprised if the Cool Whip starts KILLING the poor little fellows. I'm just saying, is all.

I was going to use my dislike of Cool Whip to launch into another thing entirely, but I am all shouted out now. Time instead for coffee.

Mojo