Why Mankind Has Created Cell Phone Cameras.

Okay, so I'm driving around, trying to get into the Christmas spirit and wondering what I am going to blog about instead of my usual litany of complaints. And I decide today, being the last day before a week or so off, I would announce next year's project, which I have dubbed Mojo's Exciting Year of Crap.

This is how it's (hopefully) going to work, although some of the details are still a bit mushy in Mojo's fertile and creative brain. Once a month or so next year, Mojo is going to resurrect the Craptacular, bigger 'n' better than ever, to excite and entrance my many fans and to (incidentally of course) clear my house of some of the ensuing detritus that has accumulated since the LAST Craptacular.

The whole point of this next year's Craptacular--ooops, sorry, I mean, Mojo's Exciting Year of Crap (gotta get that branding started early, don'tcha know), is that all the money won in the various auctions will be going in an accumulating pot or kitty or whatever I shall call it--right now I'm sort of stuck on "The Vat o' Charity" but I don't think I like that so much. During the year I will be holding special secret contests and trivia games and hidden clues and whatnot, and YOU, the oh-so-excited Participant, shall work your way up through the ranks until the whole muddled mishmash is SOLVED and we all have some freakin' big celebration.

And the first person to SOLVE this whole puzzle mishmash doohickey will be granted the rare privilege of telling Mojo what to do with the loot that has accumulated in this virtual vat. Mojo's thinking the only real rule is that it HAS to be some sort of official 501(c)3 charity, and hopefully one with online donations so that Mojo is not particularly inconvenienced as she assumes this Enormous Herculean Task of Doing Something Nice For Someone. Because we all know just how much she just LOVES being given extra work to do.

So anyway, this is my plan for next year, so if you are a regular reader of the Craptacular you might see some changes to the homepage as I try to explain what in heck 'n' tarnation I'm doing to the casual drive-by.

So I'm driving around this morning, wondering how exactly I shall announce this to you, the loyal Craptacular reader, and it's freezing rain and I'm stuck behind this truck, and all of a sudden I read the BACK of the truck and I realize (remember, it usually takes a while for things to sink into her head, the poor fool) that this is the PERFECT METAPHOR for the Holiday Season. And my life, which has been rather stressful lately what with the power outage and not having time to do my Christmas shopping and all, immediately brightened up. So I got out my trusty cool cell phone, and prayed I would come to a light where I could stop my windshield wipers and take a picture without all the road spray and whatnot obscuring the message the Universe has offered to me to share with others.

And the gods and goddesses smiled upon Mojo, as they frequently do, for we came to a red light and I was able to get a decent picture among the raindrops. And I photoshopped it a bit just so this poor company doesn't have Internet Morons calling them and being obnoxious, which would NOT be in the Holiday Spirit.

So Mojo offers you this image, fresh from her camera, as my Holiday Card to you. Enjoy, and I hope you and yours have a happy and safe holiday season in whatever way you choose to observe it. (Oh, and if your eyes don't work properly, it says "Free Samples".)

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