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IN WHICH Mojo Goes All X-Rated on You :-O

So Mojo was at Costco the other day buying dog food--I will pause here a minute so you can bask anew in the glamor that is Mojo's life--and as per usual I stopped at their DVD display to see if there was anything I wanted. Usually not, but once in a while they offer classic movies or packs of movies WAY cheap. These are usually vastly inferior to the original releases, and often lack certain extras Mojo appreciates, such as subtitles or special features, but for seven bucks you get a good movie for as long as the DVD holds out, so what the hey.

This time around, in keeping with the serendipity that is so much of Mojo's life, they had "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid", with Newman and Redford. Mojo was Pleased As Punch. For Mojo generally likes BCaSK, and feels Goldman deserved the Oscar for Best Screenplay, and she only has minor quibbles with the music interludes--particularly the last Bolivian one, which is an interminable torture of late-Sixties early-Seventies suburban Wonder Bread "scat", which I hate to call it "scat" since it has nothing whatsoever in common with Ella Fitzgerald's genius and instead involves a large chorus of "Up With People" types going "dobedobedobedobedobedobe" up and down the scale until somebody loses it and shoots them dead and puts us all out of their misery. Anyway, outside of the musical interludes it's a good movie, except for the horrendous wire trip the poor mule endures in the final shoot-out, which sadly is how films were made in Mojo's extreme youth (a documentary on the DVD explains, "Sometimes the animal breaks its neck when it falls, but luckily this time it didn't.").

Also, being of a certain age, Mojo just has Fond Nostalgia for BCaSK, as does her Favorite Husband. And just the week before the Favorite Husband had gone for a haircut, and the barber had BCaSK playing on television, and he was loathe to leave the chair because he wanted to watch the movie. So essentially you have two middle-aged frumps going "awww, Butch Cassidy!" and reminiscing about their idyllic childhoods. So when Mojo saw it for sale at Costco for seven bucks she was all like, YES!

Unfortunately for Mojo there are Other People in this world, however. In this case it was the young man working the checkout line who felt the need to critique one's purchases as they are being rung up. Mojo lives in America, of course, where people are free to state anything, no matter how wrong they may be, and all good and right-thinking people like Mojo can only grumble privately to themselves about the sorry state of the education system. Either that, or waste one's time getting into arguments with idiots. So this kid picks up BCaSK and says, "Oh, hey, I just finally saw this this weekend!"

Mojo was about to get all chipper and inquire if he saw it on cable as her Favorite Husband had, but before she could get out this pleasant human interaction the young man stopped her with a sober glare and announced, "I was not impressed." Mojo was instantly flummoxed and just sort of stood there with her mouth open while her brain was screaming "WILLIAM GOLDMAN! HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE WILLIAM GOLDMAN! ONE OF THE BESTEST SCREENWRITERS EVER!!! BUTCH CASSIDY! ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN! MISERY! THE PRINCESS BRIDE, FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!"

While Mojo stood there all dumbstruck with her brain screaming, the young man shrugged. "I dunno. Just didn't like it. I didn't think it was all that good." And then as Mojo continued to stare, he backpedaled: "Um, I mean, it was all right. But I was expecting it to be better. I like that other movie of theirs better. The one where they pull off that con."

"You mean 'The Sting'," Mojo finally finds her voice.

"Yeah, that one. That one was pretty good."

Mojo politely concurred that The Sting is indeed an enjoyable movie, and then couldn't get out of there fast enough. But her wavering faith in the good of humanity was redeemed by the equally young man checking receipts at the door. He saw BCaSK lying on top of the hundred pounds of dog food and exclaimed, "Oh, Butch Cassidy! EXCELLENT flick! TOTALLY awesome!" Which Mojo's tortured soul clung to as solid evidence that Mojo is right and the young man at the checkout is miserably and pathetically wrong. Ahhh, the joy of confirmation bias!

So now Mojo has her own copy of BCaSK, to watch any time she wants. Being a total geek, she ALSO has the complete set of Star Wars movies, including the not-very-good prequel trilogy, so it is highly doubtful she is going to spend good money for the, ahem, privilege of seeing Jar Jar Binks in 3-D. Although Mojo is mildly curious about the second movie, "Attack of the Clones", if only to see again, perchance in the horror of 3-D, the majesty and grandeur of what she long ago dubbed The Vulva Memorial Arena, due to her initial impression that every single entrance, door and window to said arena would, quite frankly, do Georgia O'Keefe proud in the Stylized Lady Parts tradition:





I thought at first it was just Mojo's warped and twisted mind that thought this, and wisely kept it to myself, for I thought CLEARLY something THAT obvious must be some sort of mistake, the sort of thing that somehow gets through hundreds of gatekeepers without anyone noticing and thus somehow allows the film (unlike this blog, at this point; sorry, Mom) to retain its PG rating. I wasn't going to say ANYTHING, but then THIS picture came up, and I finally turned to my Favorite Husband and asked, "Ahem--is it just ME, or are those guys COMPLETELY SURROUNDED by vulvas?"

Vulva Arena


(To further add to my suspicion, if you do an image search for the "Attack of the Clones" arena you can't find this shot ANYWHERE. I had to go to my DVD and do a screen grab just to PROVE MY POINT.)

 So I am slightly curious if someone a hair more shrieky than Mojo noticed this and felt the need to bring it to the attention of the filmmakers, and if there's going to be any judicious re-imaginings of the arena sequence. Or will the 3-D experience just be all the more, ummm, gynecological. But again, being woefully unimpressed with the entire prequel mess, I probably won't bother. The more adventurous among you will perhaps see it for me and report back.



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