Okay, this has been preying on my mind. So I have to come clean.

Back when I lived with my parents once in a while--I'm guessing around college? Yeah, somewhere around there--my Favorite Mother bought these painted four wooden letters that she hung up in the kitchen to spell LOVE. Very sweet. It's the sort of gal she is.

And Mojo, being the sort of gal SHE is--meaning the neglected and forgotten Middle Child, so one who is always seeking attention no matter HOW petty or childish her intentions--would occasionally rearrange the letters on the wall so that instead they spelled out "VOLE".

Why, you ask? Why, indeed. For starters, there's just so many words one can spell with those four letters. Early on in my career I toyed with spelling out "EVOL", but I did not because it is not a real word and it sounds too much like "evil", and there's "ha-ha funny" and then there's "gee, that's not funny at all". And I felt having my poor long-suffering Favorite Mother with the misspelled word "EVOL" on her wall was just not funny. Because even Mojo has her standards, however lowly.

I thought "VOLE" was quite appropriate, too, since I have always thought voles were the Forgotten and Neglected Middle Child of the animal kingdom. They don't get the press that mice do, and if you say "vole" chances are people won't know what you're talking about. They MIGHT if you say "meadow mouse" or "you know, those field mice with the short stubby tails" but Mojo has long ago learned that most people fail to appreciate the diversity of life on this planet and anything small with whiskers just sort of gets lumped into the "mouse" category and no matter how much Mojo whines "it's not a mouse; technically it's a VOLE" they just look at her like she's NUTS.

So anyway, I would occasionally change my poor Favorite Mother's decoration to read "VOLE" instead of "LOVE" and then wait--sometimes for WEEKS--for her to notice. And sometimes she did not notice until some visitor sipping tea at the kitchen table would finally ask "Why do you have the word "VOLE" on your wall?" Whereupon she would get angry with me for some reason, meaning Mojo received the attention she craved and thusly was rewarded and inspired to do it again some other time, after Mom's guard was brought back down and she was lulled into a false sense of security.

Many, many years have passed since those youthful shenanigans, and at some point the LOVE letters were taken off the kitchen wall and replaced by something else. What, I couldn't say. But while my brother and I were in the sunroom on Easter, as reported in my last post, one of the things I noticed in said room was my old friends the LOVE letters. Instead of hanging on the wall they were now stacked along the window trim.

And Mojo being Mojo, I patiently rearranged them yet again to read "VOLE".

Only now that I am so much older and wiser I admit I am feeling somewhat guilty that I did this to my poor mother yet again. But since I know that she, as well as other members of the family, occasionally reads this, no doubt if she does not learn about this directly from me one of my beloved siblings will be quick to squeal on me and turn me in in the hopes of getting more in the will.

There. I feel better, now.

Mojo